Christchurch and District Model Flying Club
Sloping Off - our newsletter

Diary of  Flyer by B Leonard Wise

The Chairman of our club is an ex Air Marshal, who as he gets older gets more military.  My Wife Clarissa plays bridge with his wife and as she is Lady X. Any  woman who is invited to play with Lady X feels very good about herself. They also have a garden party each year and Clarissa and I get invited so I do know him slightly. He likes to be called Marshall or Sir, and in my opinion he has started to lose his marbles. It has been made worse since  the Colonel had been installed as secretary. I did not know how things were until I was elected to the committee.  I was  rather proud of the responsibility shown towards me until I attended my first and probably last committee meeting. We went through several items of business like you do and then this happened.

We meet in the Air Marshal’s house. As you would expect he has a large place at the end of a cul de sac and we were all put into the lounge. He and the Colonel will start reminiscing bout their military careers instead of getting on with Club business. So it was that evening. It was winter and the lounge was very hot for us younger    ones. The two military gentlemen went on and on about thier military careers and I must confess I fell asleep. So it transpired did everyone else including the Air Marshall and the Colonel.

Lady Air Marshall who is quite an ancient old lady decided it was time for her to go to bed, so she came through the lounge to get to the kitchen and saw the lounge was full of bodies, one being her husband. They had lived in many parts of the world and he had always impressed upon her the problem of security and she thought we were  all dead.  Like most military  wives she did not panic butwent into her bedroom and phoned the police. Explaining there were several bodies in her lounge including her husband Air Marshall Sir you know who.The police enquired if it could be a terrorist operation and she said it could well be as she thought her husband would be on their  lists of targets.

The police phoned the local TV people and the Newspapers , then the armed response team and within half an hour they came down the close and arrived at the door of the house where we were. They had told the old lady to stay in her bedroom  out of the way. The Armed police smashed down the front door and rushed in shouting "police  police”  in a loud voice. This as you can imagine woke us up  quickly the Colonel   shouted "under  attack fire fire". One of the police thought the command came from his boss and let go some rounds.One hit the fuse box putting out the lights, one went through the bedroom door of the old lady. It went over her head and through the wall . She being a resourceful old soul got out of bed and laid under the bed.  Where after a short time she went to sleep. Another round went into the ceiling hit a water pipe and hot water dripped onto the head of the Air Marshal who thought it must be blood and shouted "casualties, casualties   Medics", then  fainted.

This only left the light of the T V company who were filming the whole thing, in this light I quietly crept out of the door and left them all to it.

What will happen next? You must wait. Can you bear the suspense?

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