Sloping Off - March 2006
The Diary of a Flyer - part 3
by B Leonard Wise
The Story so far: B. Leonard Wise wants to fly a Spitfire. He went to a Model shop to discover that he cannot get a fully equiped ready to fly plane.
March l0th
I have been downhearted recently, I cannot see how 1 can fly a Spitfire if I cannot buy one. Then a ray of sunshine, if I can call it that. Clarissa my Wife said that she was at the house of Mrs Chobumbly-Bart playing Bridge and the son of the house wants a plane to fly and has seen one in "Charlies Better Than New Second Time Around" shop in the high street. His Father refuses to be seen in a shop which advertises house clearances a speciality and insists that they go to the Model shop to see what they have. Good luck to them thought I. Then the news which galvanised me into action. What was the Plane I asked. A Firespit or some such thing she said. Could it have been a Spitfire I asked. Could be she said. Adding I thought you were going to start flying as a hobby. When do you propose to start. Crispin our son made some unintelligible remark, which they both laughed at. You have no sense of humour Dad he said, or that is what I think he said. He seems to oommunicate in a series of grunts and nods which his mother understands but which is a foreign language to me, I bave a sense of humour said I but it is more advanced and sophisticated than yours which is why very little of what you find funny I find funny. He looked at his Mother and the sky then said Gross. Which made them both laugh. Why I cannot imagine.
I could not have the car so I cycled to have a look at this plane. There it was in the window 1ooking quite new and it had an engine, and I hoped servos, whatever they are. Trying not to appear too eager, I said I could be interested in the Spitfire in the window. Nice isn't it said Charlie. You fly do you? No I said I want to start and that is the plane I'm going to start with. Well he said it's better than you think. I got it ftom the widow of a man who used to fly and he kept it in his loft together with all the trimmings. Starter, flight box etc. all you need to get into the air. Trying to appear knowledgeable I asked if it had servos fitted. Of course he said won't fly without them will it. Then he said you ought to have someone to show how it all works. My son is at school and I will get him here for four o clock and he can show you around it. I have a radio as well you know. Do you have one ? No Said I. See you at four clock he said and off I went in a considerable state of excitement.
I said little about it at home as Crispin was there for lunch. At four when I could have the car I went back. I realised that Charlie's Son would be a teenager and expect we would have to communicate by sign language. Anyway there he was. Do you fly I asked No he said - cars. Electric Cars said his dad. John was his name and he got out the Radio, switched the plane on. He had charged it all up. He showed me the Charger etc. Then before putting on the wings he showed me how the controls worked and I was introduced to Servos. I can see how easy it is. You pull back the lever in the Radio up goes the flap thing at the back and up goes the plane. Put the lever right and planes goes right. He was much easier to understand than Crispin. I expect that was because he has to work in the shop and actually talk to Grownups.
One thing he said which I am sure I did not hear right. If it is going away from you right is right and left is left. Coming towards you right is left and left is right. It seemed some teenage way of telling me something, It may have been one of their Jokes. I can now see how it all works. We did not start the engine because we did not have any petrol or whatever we have to use. You get it from the Model shop said the boy.
I'll have it all I said. Going to cost you said Charlie, It was going for £500 but as you are a beginner I'll say £400 for the lot. Remembering how much my Golf Clubs cost which incidentally never get used as I refuse to be insulted again by the Club Captain, Right I said. Plus £20 for John here for showing you how it all works. Cash if you please.
I do not carry that amount of cash and the Bank is closed so you must take a cheque. I don't know said Charlie. You will have to make two and extra £10 to cover Bank Charges! I wanted to argue but remembering that Mrs Cholbumbly Barts's son would most likely put in an appearance in a day or two. I knew how be would get on at the Model shop. So I made out the Cheque, loaded up and went home Happy.
Part 4 next time - BLW
