Christchurch and District Model Flying Club
 

A happy christmas to all my readers

by b Leonard wise

B. Leonard Wise has been keeping a diary about his flying passed his A certificate and the diary stopped. But this entry has come into our hands. The Editor extends his apologies to any Merchant Bankers in the readership.

I’m sorry, that should have read “The Editor does not extend his aoplogies…”

The other day D spoke to me at the flying field. Do you want to strike a blow against the Bankers he asked? Yes I replied. He gave me a date. I looked in my diary: it is when Clarissa my wife is with her ailing mother. We had a short conversation and this is what happened.

I arrived at the designated car park to be met by D. He gave me a reversible coat. For the CCTV he said. I wore the light side and we left. Three buses later we came to a posh hotel in London, went round the back to an entrance were met by F we entered by a back door. Took off our black jackets and coats were given white aprons and a chef’s hat. Then into the kitchen. From the agency said F. The head chef said the management told me we could not have anyone. F shrugged well were are here. Can you cook? asked the Chef. No F replied but we can transfer the plates from the kitchen to the counter for the waiters. Good idea said the Chef so we did.

Along came the soup into each dish we dropped some liquid from bottles we had concealed on us. Then the main courses came and we spread them on the counter for the waiters, liberally sprinkling them with this liquid. Soon out came the sweets which we left alone because we had used up all the liquid. F then took us out of the kitchen back to our clothes. We donned our black jackets and a bow tie and stood at the back of the hall with some of the Waiters. I heard the last of a speech he said it is disgraceful that we are going to be subject to regulations and our bonuses are under threat, as for the mis-selling scandal I cannot see why that should be a problem we have always done it. I realised that the 300 people were bankers: some of then looked pale and had started to sweat. When he finished several of them made a bee-line to the toilets soon the place was besieged only 10 seats and about 30 trying to get in. I asked what the liquid was. A strong laxative was the reply. The management directed some of them to a toilet the other end of the building but several did not make it. I was tapped on the shoulder and followed F and D out we mingled with another party which was leaving the Hotel, then by a roundabout route to the car and home. I looked in the Paper next day expecting headlines but it was on the inside page. The headline was, Bankers Cause A Big Stink. Many bankers were affi1icted at their annual dinner it said, three went to Hospital with expected food poisoning but no bugs could be found, only traces of a strong laxative which was also found in the uneaten food. Police suspect three people who said they were from an agency and .who disappeared without trace. A spokesman said that putting laxative in food was not a crime and the matter was closed.

This will go in the secret part of my Diary if it ever got out and was published I would wish my readers a happy Christmas.

Unfortunately we do not have an appropriate illustration for Mr Wise’s story.  This is, after all, a family magazine—Ed.

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