Christchurch and District Model Flying Club
 

Diary of a flier, episode 17

The Story so far. B Leonard Wise is a trainee pilot, subject to misfortune from time to time.

Today is an important day for me. Today I will be going Solo I got up feeling very cheerful and in honour of this great occasion I shaved and put on some of my best after shave. You smell nice remarked Clarissa my wife. Today I replied I am flying Solo. Very nice she said, having no idea what Imeant.

I have a second-hand trainer which I bought at a show. Walter and I have fettled it and got it into good shape and I have been flying it. The idea is to get me to the A standard of flying, and slowly I am getting there. We arrived at the site, got out the plane, then one of WaIters friends came over and asked if I need an automatic pilot for the plane. I nearly made a retort about it. But I have learned that in this hobby things are rarely what they sound to be. It was a small box which fits underneath the plane. Walter explained that if I get in trouble I could take my hands off the sticks and the plane will then go straight and level whilst I get myself together again. Lots of people have them. We agreed to give it a try and put it on. What about drag asked someone. Won't he want to think about drag if you add that to the plane. Now you know, and I know that drag is when men dress up in women's clothes and tell jokes. I thought that this is obviously some silly custom. I said in a determined and loud voice, I am not dressing I drag to go solo. Several people turned and looked at me most had a bemused expression on their faces. I had made my point and felt better for it.

We had a flight. Walter and I with the Buddy lead. I tried the automatic pilot and behold the plane did what it was supposed to do and straightened out and flew straight and level. There you are said Walter. We really ought to programme in a fail safe for you. We will do it when you land. Next time. So saying he took off the lead. We refuelled, gave the plane a check over and I was told to go and fly. I must say it was a proud moment...As I stood with the tailplane between my feet checking once again the controls, I though again of the Battle of Britain pilots who must have felt the same when they went solo.

And so following on a long tradition I let her go, opened the throttle and took off. All went well at first, It was strange not having Walter there, but here I was flying on my own at last. I did a sort of circle, and then tried a square. I let go of the sticks and it flew straight and level. So far so very good. Perhaps I should say that our site is visited from time to time by horses. They are not well behaved and will leave their poo on the runway. Now poo attracts flies. Before I knew what was happening, I was surrounded by a swarm of flies around my head. They must have been attracted by the after shave smell. Some flew in my mouth and some up my nose. So I started to sneeze and sneeze and sneeze.

It is impossible to steer and plane when sneezing, but even in the midst of this catastrophe I kept my head. Of such steadiness under fire Heroes are made. I had the presence of mind to release the sticks, hoping that the plane would keep flying straight. I heard running steps as Walter and Mike both ran out to help. My eyes were streaming. Walter grabbed the Transmitter. Where is the plane he asked. It was some moments before I could see, we could just about hear the plane. But could we see it, no we couldn't. Walter said they know when you take your eyes off them and they fly away .Which is what this one had done.

Walter shut the Throttle, but it must have gone out of range the sound had died away. Was it full of fuel Walter asked, yes I replied, well it should go for about 10 miles on the pilot, did you put your name and address on it. No I replied. That can be good and bad. If it lands in someone's garden and they want to return your nice plane that is good If goes through their bedroom window that is bad. Where will it go I asked. Walter said they always go downwind eventually so it will either land on the Isle of Wight or it will be half way across the Channel it's the last you will see of that. You owe Charlie for the Automatic Pilot.

Next time I will not use after shave, but insect repellent.

B Leonard Wise. June 09

Back to Contents

[Home] [Chairman's Chatter] [Editorial] [Diary of a Flier] [3 Wheels] [Swift Kit] [Bubble Dancer] [Dummy Engines] [Kit Review 2] [Tailpiece]