Christchurch and District Model Flying Club
 

The diary of a flier

by b. Leonard Wise

Episode 21 .

B. Leonard Wise has been prosecuted for setting fire to the Forest by crashing a plane which caught fire into the Gorse Bushes. He wished to call the Prosecutor as a witness and he and the Clerk to the Court are in a huddle trying to decide if that is possible.

Eventually the conference ceased, and the clerk said that he has never heard of such a thing before but there are no rules against it. You had better get in the witness box. So Mr Updyke the Prosecutor made his languid way into the Box. He was sworn in and faced me.

Do you have a laptop Computer I asked. Yes he replied I cannot see what that has to do... I stopped him. I was not allowed to offer information nor can you. Do you remember last year when some laptops caught fire .Yes. Do you know why they did that I asked. He replied I think the battery caught fire spontaneously. What sort of Batteries where the I asked. Some sort of Lithium Polymer I believe. Now, I said. If you had brought your laptop into court as part of your business and it had caught fire and burned the courtroom down would you have been guilty of setting fire to the courtroom with malice aforethought? No of course not he said. Why I asked. Because I had no control over the battery he replied.

Do you know what sort of Battery was in my Plane I asked. No he replied, I asked him if he thought he ought to have found out that information. No he replied. I told him that it was a Lipo Battery and as you said they catch fire spontaneously. I then addressed the Court. The prosecutor said that he should not be prosecuted because of a spontaneous fire so how can you justify prosecuting me. If he would be not guilty how can I be. Do you agree? I asked Mr Updyke .He mumbled Yes. I did not hear you I said. Yes he repeated. So you agree it was wrong to prosecute me. Yes he replied. But you did damage the Forest. We will see about that I replied.

I then called my second witness .He was called and put in the Box. You are a Forester? Yes he replied. I continued, there is a lot of Gorse in the Forest. Is that a good thing? No He said it is a pest. So what do you do about it I asked. We burn it. Would you want to burn the patch which was destroyed by my Plane? Itwas due to be burned in the Spring he replied. So I did not cause any real damage I just did you job for you. You could put it like that He said.

I smiled at the Magistrates, and said I rest my case. The Chief Magistrate~ was very cross. He said Not guilty , case dismissed. The Clerk, undercover of his desk gave me a thumbs up sign. I collected my papers with a smug smile on my face. I walked out of court a free man, with a great belief in British Justice, and a resolve that if I put a large battery in a plane I must use a smaller Propeller.

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