Christchurch and District Model Flying Club
 

Diary of a Flier,

by B Leonard Wise

B Leonard Wise has had an accident when he drove into his neighbour’s driveway and hit his car .He has a wife Clarissa and a son called Crispin

I could not see my Solicitor until Wednesday. Sydney, who is my wife's cousin is a bombastic person who I dislike, but have to use for family reasons. I of course wore my suit; he as usual was in shirtsleeves and did not have the courtesy to put on his jacket. 'Hello Len', he said 'what can I do for you' .Firstly I told him ‘My name is Leonard. And I wish to be called by my proper name.’ Righto mate, he said, what's your beef this time?

I told him that I had been on to the Insurance Company who were most unhelpful and that I would take them to court. I then told him about the accident. To my utter dismay he fell about laughing. Literally fell about laughing. ‘What did they say when you told them you would sue them?’ he said. The clown at the other end told me he would love to be there. ‘So would I mate so would I.’

Will you take my case I asked. You must be joking retorted Sydney. You have not got a leg to stand on. It would cost you a fortune to take on an Insurance Company and you would be sure to lose. Go home let them pay up and lose your bonus old chum that is the best you can do. I was so taken aback that I stood up to leave. Then he said that will be £25. What will be £25? I asked. My fee he told me. It’s £50 usually but half price for family. Get your credit card out and pay up. I will do nothing of the kind said I, getting angry at my treatment, you will send me a bill like you should. Suit your self squire. If l send you a bill it will be £35 there's a £10 charge for an invoice all the booking etc had to be paid for. I paid with my Credit card and stalked out of the office.

I can see that the whole system is set up to be against me. I am a man of intellect and high intelligence and whilst I do not consider myself to be beaten I shall not pursue this matter further. Let them do what they will.

To cheer myself up I stole into Crispin’s room and had a look at his new toy. It is a small electric helicopter. He flies it around the room and makes it follow him like a dog. Even around the lounge. Clarissa cannot deny him anything. If it is as easy as that, I thought, I would try it. I put it on the floor of the lounge and gently tried to get it to fly. The blades revolved but it would not lift off. I gave it more throttle and suddenly it shot up to the ceiling. On the way it collided with the light fitting. We have a six bulb chandelier, each bulb covered by some sort of leaf. Now it was a five bulb chandelier. Half of one lot of leaves was on the floor with the remains of the bulb. The copter had also crashed back to the floor. It has obviously become defective from too much flying by my son.

Being a man of great calm I swept up the glass, retrieving the bits of the leaf. I then put them back together. Getting out my trusty five minute epoxy I stuck them together then tried putting them back. I again used epoxy but had to hold it up with Blu Tack until the glue stuck. When I had finished it was all back together again. I hope that it holds until the cleaner comes on Tuesday and hits it with her duster. It can then fall to pieces and she will get the blame.

For the Summer holidays I am getting a Quadracopter. For a man of my skill and experience flying it should be a doddle.

I wonder if that idiot of an Editor has got this all down?

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